<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Before I make a move by thp_cara (TheHolosexualPan)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278691">Before I make a move</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHolosexualPan/pseuds/thp_cara'>thp_cara (TheHolosexualPan)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gay Panic, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Sharing Clothes, Short &amp; Sweet, badum tsss, smol Zed because i am weak and have no impulse control</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:02:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHolosexualPan/pseuds/thp_cara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Impulse has feelings and he isn't sure if he wants them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>impulseSV/Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Before I make a move</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am WEAK for the sharing clothes trope especially when one of the characters is smol, I'm ngl.<br/><strike>and I guess Impulse sure as hell like it too</strike></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Impulse loves Zedaph and that is not a problem.</p><p>Of course he’d love his friends that he’s spent years adventuring and exploring and building and having fun with, it would be a bit odd if he didn’t. He loves his friends and he cares for them a lot, he supports them in their decisions and helps them where he can. He is always there to offer a warm smile and a kind word or two for the other hermits and that is not a problem. Impulse loves Zedaph and he loves spending time with him and he loves seeing him smile, his beautiful purple eyes crinkling when the edges of his lips curl up in what is undeniable joy, hearing him laugh, the sound of it hearty and loud, when in the aftermath of a prank, or softer, like bells chiming in the wind, when it’s a response to a private joke or a kindness gifted to him by someone. Impulse <em> loves </em> Zedaph and it is <em> not a problem </em>.</p><p>What <em> is </em> a problem, is the fact that he doesn’t only love Zedaph like he loves his other fellow hermits. That isn’t to say that he cares for the others any less, no, Impulse would do anything for all of them, would be there anyone who needs his help, Impulse would be there in the blink of an eye, but…</p><p>But they aren’t <em> Zedaph </em> . Impulse’s heart doesn’t race the same way when he sees them like it does when he spots Zedaph in the shopping district at random, the quick greeting and the flash of a grin already enough to distract Impulse for the remainder of the day if he lets it. His thoughts don’t zero in on his interactions with other hermits, no, but at any given moment, if he isn’t careful and if he doesn’t already have something else to think about, it is enough for Impulse to look at something that reminds him of Zedaph and he is absolutely <em> gone </em>. When he talks with the other hermits, he doesn’t have to remind himself to not gaze at their lips for too long, but when he is with Zedaph, it’s like the only thing his mind registers anymore is the faint freckles scattered across his cheeks or the pink lips that look all too soft, almost tempting Impulse to just lean in and-</p><p>And Impulse shakes his head, dispersing that particular image, his cheeks heating up ever so slightly as he chastises himself.</p><p>Impulse loves Zedaph and the problem is that he is sure it’s not just a platonic emotion anymore, not when he finds himself daydreaming about what it would be like to hold Zedaph in his arms, what it would be like to wake up to those pretty purple eyes and that beaming smile that Impulse adores, to wake up to messy light blonde hair, to a sleepy ‘good morning’ whispered in a morning chilled bed, not when he cannot even glance at Zedaph anymore without going red in the face.</p><p>Goodness knows, Tango already points out all of these changes that Impulse hadn’t even noticed occurring in their relationship and giggles at how Impulse stutters in his clumsy explanations for all of these things, while simultaneously encouraging him to just confess to Zedaph, which Impulse cannot and <em> will </em> not do. It’s not that he doesn’t think Tango is right, maybe letting his feelings out will cut the air of awkwardness that seems to have grown thicker and thicker as time passed between him and Zedaph, maybe Zedaph will even <em> reciprocate </em> said feelings, maybe all of those fantasies and longing thoughts will be turned into a reality, but Impulse does not want to take that risk.</p><p>Simply put, he is afraid that things will change, whether for better or for worse, he is afraid of how his feelings coming to light will make Zedaph be more cautious around him, is afraid that he will no longer be able to just casually meet up with Zedaph and just hang out with him, even if there’s a sliver of pain in his heart whenever they do, because <em> Impulse loves Zedaph </em>.</p><p>And so Impulse keeps his crush hidden as best as he can, even if, according to Tango, everyone other than Zedaph already knows, and that might be why, when another hermit spots them together, Impulse can make out an almost expectant look in their eyes, that might be why, when Impulse meets up with Zedaph, the others just leave them to it, taking off with knowing grins plastered all over their faces, and maybe it should be infuriating, but Impulse only hopes that Zedaph doesn’t find their friends’ antics weird, that he doesn’t suspect anything about Impulse’s secret.</p><p>And given all these facts, it’s not a surprise that, despite both Impulse and Tango having promised Zedaph that they’d all meet up to help Zedaph get better at using his elytra, Impulse unable to resist the wide-eyed look and the sweetly uttered “please” that Zedaph had deemed to be the best course of action for getting what he wanted, Tango shoots Impulse a message which simply states that something requires Tango’s immediate assistance and that he won’t be able to join them, but Impulse knows what Tango is doing, he <em> knows </em> because Tango had flown by his base just before the designated time they’d all decided on to meet up at Impulse’s base with a smug expression on his face and a large grin.</p><p>And of course Zedaph is a little surprised when he only sees Impulse waiting for him, but the wide smile on his face when their eyes meet makes Impulse melt where he stands, Zedaph’s simple “hello, there” already having his heart beating wildly in his chest, but Impulse really does want to help Zedaph, so they jump right into it and Impulse would be lying if he were to claim that he isn’t beside himself with joy when he takes ahold of Zedaph’s hands, when they soar high above the sparkling blue ocean below them and Impulse manages to sneak a glance at Zedaph while he is busy looking down at the scenery below them, the pickles Impulse had meticulously placed lighting up the seafloor in a beautiful array of colours and shapes, the wind ruffling Zedaph’s hair and its lower temperature making Zedaph’s cheeks red with a positively endearing blush.</p><p>It ends all too quickly and Impulse is left standing on one of the walkways of his base, looking up at Zedaph as he tries to fly through the columns and spiraling shapes and separated pieces of his base, slowly getting the hang of it. That is, until he loses his balance and, to Impulse’s shock, begins plummeting towards the floor of the base. As Impulse opens up his wings and shoots a few rockets in rapid succession, nearly smacking into a wall with the urgency muddling his thoughts and reflexes as he tries to fly towards Zedaph in order to catch him, the panic welling up in his throat when he sees Zedaph speeding up, seemingly unable to open his wings.</p><p>Before Zedaph actually hits the grounds, before Impulse can catch him, though, Zedaph manages to finally get his elytra to open and fumbles with a few rockets, shooting himself towards the sea instead of the hard concreter of Impulse’s base, and though something inside Impulse twinges due to not having been able to do <em> anything </em>, his breakneck speed not enough to get to Zedaph in time, the feeling of relief that washes over him as he sees Zedaph land in the water is nearly overwhelming. It couldn’t have been a pleasant way to land, Impulse knows, but it is miles better than crashing into the ground and having to respawn.</p><p>With the growing worry inside him, Impulse doesn’t waste anymore time and flies towards where he saw Zedaph hit the water, his eyes narrowing as he inspects the seemingly undisturbed surface of the ocean, the occasional, slightly larger than usual wave bringing with it a veil of seafoam, and, just as Impulse considers jumping into the water himself to look for his friend, his thoughts circling in on themselves with concern, Zedaph breaks through the surface of the ocean, gasping and flailing. Impulse swoops down, then, and he thinks Tango would most certainly pat him on the back because that’s quite a bit harder to do mid-flight, and picks Zedaph up, who coughs a little bit and shakes his head, his wet hair darker than usual and his wide eyes focusing on Impulse as he somehow manages to fly them back to the safety of his base without too much trouble. Impulse supports Zedaph as best as he can, one hand behind his knees and the other settled on his back, his fingers twitching at the cold, wet fabric of Zedaph’s cardigan. Zedaph clings to him and, given the circumstances, Impulse thinks it’s almost inconsiderate of him to hold Zedaph even closer to himself and to have his heart skip a beat when shaky arms wrap themselves around his neck, Zedaph’s face buried in his shoulder and, despite how he is instantly soaked by virtue of hugging Zedaph while he flies down as smoothly as he can, Impulse cannot find it in him to mind.</p><p>He doesn’t want to put Zedaph down when he rights himself on the concrete floor and Zedaph doesn’t protest, in fact, his arms tighten around Impulse and shivers wrack through his frame, which prompts Impulse to just walk towards his bedroom, instantly thinking of what he has to do to help take care of Zedaph. He is probably a bit shocked right now, Impulse knows, and he must be cold from the water. The sun is also ticking closer to the horizon in the background, so Impulse decides that the best thing to do is to give Zedaph a change of clothes and make sure he is warm, dry and safe during the night. It’s what a friend would do, but Impulse still can’t help it when he tightens his grip on Zedaph and rubs his fingers in a circle pattern over his back comfortingly.</p><p>Which is how Impulse finds himself at a loss with his current predicament. </p><p>He’s just exited his bathroom after taking a shower, a fresh set of pajamas on and a towel in his hand, the warmth of the bathroom escaping behind him with the steam of the hot water and making Impulse shiver as he steps into the colder air of his bedroom, the contrast making it seem freezing, but that’s not what makes Impulse stop in his tracks.</p><p>His bed is already occupied, which is expected, and Zedaph is dressed in a set of comfy clothes that Impulse had insisted Zedaph put on to avoid getting sick, getting a small nod and a soft smile in return, which is also expected, but somehow, the combination of Zedaph nestled in his bed, lying on his side with his hands beneath his head, curled up in a little ball, the blankets an absolute mess around him and of Zedaph wearing <em> his </em> clothes makes Impulse’s brain stop working for a second.</p><p>He takes a moment to shut the bathroom door behind him and drape his towel over the back of a chair, but then he is back to staring at his own bed, gulping as he tries to ward of a blush. Zedaph doesn’t stir, the slow movement of his chest hinting at the fact that he might already be asleep, but Impulse can’t stop himself from looking at him, from noticing how small he looks in his clothes. The sleeves of the t-shirt reach his elbows and the pants look baggy enough on him to cause trouble when he is walking, but all these things make Zedaph look softer, somehow, as he naps on. His hair is no longer wet, Impulse having taken care of that before his own shower, but is now fluffy and back to its light blonde colour, strands curling at the tips and hanging over his eyes. Zedaph’s lips are parted as he breathes slowly, but Impulse cannot bring himself to look elsewhere, now, his attention fully caught and held by his lips. He imagines what it would be like if he just walked over to the bed on his tiptoes and leaned over Zedaph, how soft his cheek would feel beneath Impulse’s hand if he were to reach out and cup his face, what his lips might feel like beneath Impulse’s own. He wonders whether or not those soft breaths would turn a little sharper if Impulse were to kiss him and-</p><p>And Impulse takes his head in his hands and holds in a frustrated groan. All these thoughts aren’t helping, not when he’d promised himself he’d keep his feeling hidden, not when he’d sworn he’d try to see Zedaph as a friend exclusively, but Impulse can’t help it.</p><p>“Impulse?”, he freezes in place as he hears his own name being called out in a sleepy voice and, slowly, he looks back up, only to be greeted by Zedaph sitting up in his bed, rubbing his face with a loose fist and yawning quietly, purple eyes bleary but warm with something that Impulse wishes he didn’t interpret as affection but does <em> anyway </em> . Zedaph looks even softer like this, he looks <em> adorable </em>, and he is wearing Impulse’s clothes and he is sitting in Impulse’s bed and Impulse doesn’t think he’s ever wanted something more than he wants to just go up to Zedaph and hug him, to take him in his arms and to kiss him breathless and the realisation is terrifying.</p><p>Zedaph chooses that moment to smile tiredly and speak again.</p><p>“Come to bed? ‘S getting late...”</p><p>And how in the world can Impulse deny him when Zedaph smiles at him and opens his arms for Impulse, looking so very cuddly and welcoming and beautiful that Impulse feels like he has no choice as he walks towards the bed, his heart going wild inside his chest, probably beating loud enough for everyone to hear. But when arms wrap around him and Impulse finds himself being pulled down on top of Zedaph as he lets himself fall back onto the pillows, Impulse all but melts as he wraps his own arms around Zedaph, holding him close and burying his face in the crook of his neck, which makes Zedaph giggle sweetly. Zedaph snuggles into Impulse’s arms and sighs happily, one of his hands resting on Impulse's head and petting his short brown hair gently.</p><p>“Thank you. For everything...”, Zedaph whispers, then, sounding as tenderly devastated as Impulse himself feels and, as Zedaph makes himself comfortable in Impulse arms, as he falls asleep again, using Impulse as his personal stuffed animal, Impulse makes a decision.</p><p>He moves his head just slightly, managing to catch a glimpse of Zedaph’s profile, taking note of how much softer Zedaph looks in his slumber, his features that much more serene as he sleeps, something that is usually covered up with a goofy smile or a mischievous grin.</p><p>He will tell Zedaph.</p><p>Come morning, Impulse will tell Zedaph about how he feels, because he is sure, now, that whatever happens, Zedaph will not let their friendship go to waste and Impulse will do whatever he can to make sure his feelings won’t bring either of them any pain.</p><p>Impulse loves Zedaph and not just as he would a friend, but maybe that’s ok.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sometimes you just have needs that you must fulfil yourself, and mine are fluff rn 😔✊</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>